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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22903264">Goodbye Winter</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatooneandtwo/pseuds/potatooneandtwo'>potatooneandtwo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Day6 (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Day6 - Freeform, Gift for my friend, M/M, Winter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:14:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,148</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22903264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatooneandtwo/pseuds/potatooneandtwo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s snowing.”</p><p>“Did you know, if you watch the first snow with someone you adore, you’ll end up together?”</p><p>“Hmm. How many people have you adored and watched the first snow then?”</p><p>“Just one, Yoongi.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kang Younghyun | Young K/Min Yoongi | Suga</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Goodbye Winter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>idk what to say haha</p><p>IMPORTANT: each line break signifies a change of timeline (present-past-present so on)</p><p>enjoyy~~~</p><p>(not proofread lksjdlaks sorry)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“It’s snowing.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Did you know, if you watch the first snow with someone you adore, you’ll end up together?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Hmm. How many people have you adored and watched the first snow then?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Just one, Yoongi.”</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Breathing in the familiar thin air of winter, mixed with the sea breeze, Min Yoongi lets his eyes flutter close as the snowflakes rain softly on him.</p><p> </p><p>It’s been awhile since he was in the country.</p><p> </p><p>A good five years away did a lot to him.</p><p> </p><p>He bloomed to be his best self. And as a producer and songwriter in a vicious industry, domestic and international, he was able to make a name for himself in those short five years. He received rewards and recognition that decorates his person, his works are charting and loved by many –he sometimes hear them playing when he takes a scroll downtown- and he made peers for keeps, people he holds dear.</p><p> </p><p>But sometimes, in solemn moments like this, seeing the calm waves painting the sand, the horizon so far from where he stands, he acknowledges what was left behind, what he gave up to gain what he has to today.</p><p> </p><p>And in such moments, he relearns what regret is. His busy life, thankfully, keeps him up and on his toes and he doesn’t have the time to think about things. However, he was reminded, that when regret comes to him, it’s easy to be consumed by it.</p><p> </p><p>So before it could, he turns away from the cloudless blue and leaves.</p><p> </p><p>The city lights that evening had a sweet glow to them, maybe because of the early snow or because of the amount of couples surrounding him.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t they have homes to cuddle at?” Yoongi grumbles to himself, narrowly missing another guy’s shoulder because he doesn’t know how to detach himself from his girl. He rolls his eyes at this.</p><p> </p><p> When a stiff breeze slaps his cheeks, he halts in his trek to the park atop the hill and shivers. “Coffee. I need coffee.” Pulling his overcoat tighter to him, he retraces his steps to walk back down to the café he remembers noticing earlier.</p><p> </p><p>Upon getting there, he sighs in relief as soon as the warm heat of indoors and aromatic beans hit him. He notices with delight too that the place had less lingering people. “A regular customer type of place?” Shrugging, because the gift of gods –<em>coffee-</em> awaits him, he proceeds to the counter without further fuss.</p><p> </p><p>“Good afternoon sir! What would you like to have?”</p><p> </p><p>Suppressing a cringe at seeing the mismatched cheery voice and ragged look out of respect to the poor employee, he tried his best to pull up a smile, hoping it would lessen the invisible burden on her shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“They could poison you for all you know. So you have to be kind to them.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Quickly brushing off the fleeting voice that flittered unwillingly through his ears, he focused back on ordering. “Iced ameri-“</p><p> </p><p>Startled he cut himself off. He looks up wide-eyed at the confused expression the lady was giving him. Smile stiff, he clears his throat and says “Brewed coffee please.”</p><p> </p><p>The lady –Mina, the nametag shows- tilts her head in concern but doesn’t pry. “Name please.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Kitty!”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Yoongi.”</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>Thinking, he ponders again, is an ability one should be able to shut on command. Because wouldn’t that make life easier?</p><p> </p><p>Can’t sleep because of life problems? Turn it off.</p><p> </p><p>Want to forget an embarrassing memory? Delete.</p><p> </p><p>Don’t want to be reminded of memories while you’re trying to relax in a café?</p><p> </p><p>Nursing his too bitter and too hot cup of coffee in his hand, he groans. His thoughts were going nowhere. When he woke up that morning to allow his body to adjust with the jetlag, he didn’t expect he’d literally walk down the memory lane. The beach was the last stop.</p><p> </p><p>Because he doesn’t think he’d be welcomed to the last place his memory is pointing at.</p><p> </p><p>Not that he could do it, given otherwise.</p><p> </p><p>“Guess it’s just the nostalgia playing tricks on me.” That comes with age right? When you have nothing else to do, you reminisce on the good old times. You rewind the experiences you file in your head to share later with your grandchildren, once you’re aged and graying. “I sound stupid” Scrunching his face, he sips from the cup and groans again.</p><p> </p><p>“Is this seat taken?”</p><p> </p><p>Startled from the question, he looks around him first out of habit and noticed the amount of people inside. <em>When did it get this packed? </em>Then remembering the reason why he was only now made aware of the crowded place, he turns his head to let the poor customer grab the seat, out of good will of course, he would have lied otherwise. It was freezing outside after all.</p><p> </p><p>He was about to nod and offer the seat when he was blinded by a too bright smile despite the width it was stretching. The guy –tall and leaning on broad- had sharp eyes twinkling with something he can’t name and an easy aura enveloping his person.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Too much like him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Subtly taking a breath, he nods and gestures to the seat. The beams gratefully and settles his steaming cup of tea –there was a string hanging on the side- before settling himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He sounds like him too.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Looking out the glass window, Yoongi ignored the other’s presence and simply watched more snow fall to distract himself. But it was too late, the image of <em>him</em> merged with the face of the man across him and Yoongi has always been powerless when it begins.</p><p> </p><p>The small, gentle glance from his seatmate doesn’t help at all.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But it’s not him.</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Life in the music industry was never easy. Yoongi knows that, he’s curious enough to research about it (the media can be a manipulative bitch when it wants to,) But it didn’t stop him from dropping out of school, working more jobs than his small body could so he could afford a studio rental and equipment and joining underground rap battles. Because that’s where he feels most alive. That’s where he found himself, true and unabashed. Drowning in music.</p><p> </p><p>In a few short years, at the age of eighteen, he was gifted a golden opportunity to produce and work for a budding company. Not caring for the salary, it was the nitty gritty he was after, he accepted.</p><p> </p><p>And he was living the life soon enough. Laboring for hours on songs that has been written in his notebook for years and producing them was his paradise. The studio, his home. Coffee, his constant companion. That was his cycle for a few years, producing tracks for lowkey bands and songwriting for small soloists. He was happy and unbothered with the little world he found himself in.</p><p> </p><p>Until it happened and ruined his barely starting career and he had no choice but to salvage what he can and start anew.</p><p> </p><p>It was hard, because even for a small company, it still has influence. And it followed him everywhere he goes. Every bit he built his life on was ripped away by something he didn’t even do. He was crushed at the mere thought of letting go of that little world and witnessing it while it happens in a fast rate stole his breath and sanity away. It was a murder.</p><p> </p><p>But he found him, Mr. Bang.</p><p> </p><p>Who was unconventional and couldn’t care less about what the world thinks. “If you’re talented, why waste it on the lies they’re shoving at your face?”</p><p> </p><p>And those nonchalant words were his salvation. He was recruited and was allowed to rebuild himself and his little world again.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll be working with a self-producing band.” was what greets him as soon as he entered Mr. Bang’s office that morning. Taking a seat after he was offered, Yoongi listens.</p><p> </p><p>“They’ll be debuting in three months. But for them to be received organically as self-producing, they’re focusing more on busking and club performances for now” the old paused, pushing a cup of steaming hot coffee to him “you know for anticipation.”</p><p> </p><p>Yoongi picks on the skin of his thumbs. Working with other people means meeting them, tolerating their presence, understanding them as artists and letting them have a glimpse of him and that’s precisely how he got ruined. Most likely taking note of his lack of positive response, his boss stood from his seat and moved to seat beside him.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re good people, Yoongi.” He reassures “We do extensive background checks on our employees, and those may be goofy and overbearing sometimes, but they’re good people.”</p><p> </p><p>Trying a smile, he forced his shoulders to relax and initiated the conversation of what his work would cover.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re experimenting” Mr. Bang laughs good-naturedly “and I thought, maybe some inputs from you would be nice. It could be beneficial both ways.”</p><p> </p><p>He feels his eyebrows furrowing <em>Goofy? Overbearing? Experimental? </em>Conjuring a mental image of a bunch of clowns with instruments, he shivers <em>Not my cup of tea then.</em></p><p> </p><p>“I think it would be best for you to meet them.” The other slaps his back with a chuckle. Standing up, Mr. Bang waves him away “I’ll email you the details.”</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>Pouting at the calm waves licking his feet, Yoongi buries his fingers in the sand and feels for a rock or shell or anything he can throw. “I’m so doomed.”</p><p> </p><p>After the incident, even before that to be honest, meeting new people is something he struggles with. And just from the descriptive words Mr. Bang had used, all he wanted to do was ran and hide. Pulling his phone to open the email again, Yoongi squints at the screen before sighing “It’s still there.”</p><p> </p><p>He was being such a weak ass, but can you blame him when-</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I was just pretending to be happy </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Everyone envied me </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Powerful emotions flooded him just from the notes the wind was carrying. The words were thin but they were clear. Curious, he looks around to find the source there was a growing urge in him to listen more closely.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Even the moments I loved </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wonder if they were real...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Noticing the concentration of people by the docks –and the louder sound coming from it- he follows. There he saw a blazing red head, in leather jacket –<em>The sun is so high how does he survive that?-</em> strumming an acoustic guitar.</p><p> </p><p>But the guy seemed to have no concerns whatsoever of the heat of the sun beating down on his back. He looked carefree smiling and swaying to the music he was making. He would occasionally hold an audience’s stare and make a face with them.</p><p> </p><p>“Flirt.” But he didn’t have the heart to be riled up, because his eyes were shining and his smile was brighter than the morning.</p><p> </p><p>Problems temporarily forgotten, he finds the spot near –<em>with shade because he’d rather not burn-</em> and enjoys the free show of good music.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How would it be like to write a song for a voice such as yours?</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Yoongi snaps out of his reverie and stares at hand waving then to the amused, tad concerned look on the face of the man across him.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>The guy chuckles, making him shudder -<em>how alike can you two be?-</em> and sips his tea “I’ve been trying to get your attention for quite some time now.”</p><p> </p><p>Lifting an eyebrow, because he refuses to waste what little energy he has to answer, he prompts him to continue with just that.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes twinkled with amusement, earning a tiny glare from him, and lifts a sandwich –<em>when did his food get here?-</em> while munching on his food, he continues “Your phone has been vibrating.”</p><p> </p><p>And indeed, his phone was blowing up with notifications. Blushing a little, he swipes it down to his lap, blatantly ignoring the laugh the burned his ears.</p><p> </p><p>Several emails from his manager asking where he was (with varying degrees of patience), five from Namjoon, another producer he was working with, three from the manager of a soloist he was going to collab with and ten from Mr. Bang.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p> </p><p>Although he cussed under his breath, rapidly typing down replies, the man across him perks up in attention. “Your spouse looking for you?”</p><p> </p><p>Unconsciously, busy fingers still tapping the screen, he snorts “Yes. Been married to work since I was sixteen.”</p><p> </p><p>A small hum was what he got in return, but he was too focused on his message to take note of it.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“I’m Kang Younghyun.”</p><p> </p><p>Yoongi blinks, turns to look at Mr. Bang who waved a lazy hand as he left then blinks at the man before him again.</p><p> </p><p>It was blazing red head with a leather jacket who doesn’t seem to care about weather forecasts singing like some big shot under the sun at the beach. Well, he’s just wearing a hoodie now, <em>still.</em></p><p> </p><p>A loud guffaw caught his attention, a tall blond was hiding behind a smaller man sitting by a keyboard, and the drummer was snickering with his head bowed and another was shaking his head with resigned amusement.</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t believe he described you well on first meeting Brian.” The blond laughs loud.</p><p> </p><p>Yoongi blinks once more then <em>fuck. I thought out loud.</em></p><p> </p><p>“You are again.” Red head points out. “And it’s Younghyun or Brian. Whatever.” The guy chuckles “My name’s not ‘red head’ okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Freezing up in embarrassment, Yoongi was starting to contemplate high tailing but the smaller man by the keyboard chirps “Don’t scare him away, hyung.” Then with a welcoming smile he addresses him “Come sit, Yoongi-hyung. Mr. Bang had already briefed us.”</p><p> </p><p>They were indeed good people. Good people with too much energy, loud laughs and playful slaps. But he doesn’t feel like at outsider. They were serious when it comes to work, less jokes and exaggerated bickering, but still easy and relax in the way they brainstorm and throws in ideas.</p><p> </p><p>It was fun.</p><p> </p><p>He bites back a smile not knowing that someone caught him doing so.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>Younghyun was loud.</p><p> </p><p>Like <em>loud </em>loud.</p><p> </p><p>Unlike his instrument, the bass, he was in the limelight with how loud he was. His personality, his colors, his expression and just him. In all his glory.</p><p> </p><p>And Yoongi learned to see him just as he is. Like how Younghyun tried his best for him.</p><p> </p><p>Because Younghyun had a loud, big heart too. Considerate and genuine. He remembers when to keep silent when he’s starting to get socially exhausted. He’ll invite him to eat when he forgets the time. He would include him when he doesn’t get what’s happening (most of the time when Jae is speaking. The tall blond can spew a lot of gibberish.)</p><p> </p><p>That’s how they work. They memorized how each other ticked and before they all knew it, it’s been a year since they met and worked together and 5Live is a band who’s starting to get recognition outside of the domestic audience.</p><p> </p><p>Yoongi couldn’t help but beam with pride seeing Younghyun and the other band members, his friends (because they were more than just a producer and a band) finish their second solo concert.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s snowing.” He observes, palm side up waiting for a snowflake to sleep in his hand.</p><p> </p><p>They were waiting for the van to pick them up.</p><p> </p><p>Younghyun, who beside him looks down to his feet “Did you know, if you watch the first snow with someone you adore, you’ll end up together?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm.” He turns to him with a confused face, not predicting where their conversation will go “How many people have you adored and watched the first snow then?”</p><p> </p><p>Somehow, the thought of Younghyun seeing the first snow with someone else pricked his chest. Because somewhere between exchanging words for songs and chords and ideas, Yoongi was slowly giving away pieces of himself too.</p><p> </p><p>He just doesn’t know if the band member was the same.</p><p> </p><p>Yoongi was never one to be hopeful about these things afterall.</p><p> </p><p>But Younghyun blushed brighter than the cold could do on his thick skin and side-eyes him “Just <em>one</em>, Yoongi.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” <em>But this is…and you are…</em></p><p> </p><p>In an uncharacteristic show of bashfulness, the taller man bites his bottom lip and confesses weakly “That song was for you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Like the stars<br/>
twinkling in the night sky<br/>
you are<br/>
Pouring out over me</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m falling for you woo<br/>
I’m falling for you woo</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t act <em>dumb</em>- god this is embarrassing-” Younghyun rubs his face and bounces a little, nervous trembles on his fingertips “The last song- did you listen to it well?”</p><p> </p><p>With a quickly warming face, he looks away but nods nonetheless.</p><p> </p><p>Younghyun walks around him and peeks through his bangs “How did you feel about it?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Like falling into your soul? Being embraced by your sound?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>In uncontainable happy defeat, he lets his gums show, his cheeks hurting.</p><p> </p><p>The singer beams bright in return. And pulls him into a warm hug. Lips pressed on his cheek, whispering words he never thought he’d hear from that voice.</p><p> </p><p>Too giddy, he captures his lips with an unsuppressed grin.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>There was a knock on the wood then “Hello~”</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” he dumbly asked, fingers stopping from typing.</p><p> </p><p>The other guy smiled softly, pushing a plate to him “I was asking if you want a sandwich. We’ve been here for a good half an hour now and from what I can see,” gesturing to his half-empty cup, he continues “that’s all you’ve had.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stop.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Squeezing his phone, Yoongi looks down and stares at his reflection on his now black screen. Furrowed brows and frustrated eyes.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t dare look back up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Don’t say words he used to say.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>If <em>he </em>was anything like him. If the way his skin was tingling with something he was familiar with, Yoongi knows it would be a mistake to meet gazes with the man across.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Don’t look at me like that. You’re not him.</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He was happy. So happy.</p><p> </p><p>They would bond over lyrics and real words, beats and measures and the universal language of music. On day-off’s it would be curious concoctions in the band’s dorm kitchen, the members’ were willing victims to their self-proclaimed masterpieces.</p><p> </p><p>They’re relationship was silent, private but very real. They both learned how to separate work from their personal lives. They also learned how to love despite and through it all. Even with busy, time consuming careers, whether separate or together they find time for each other.</p><p> </p><p>Iced Americanos from the café at the company or just pictures of them when they’re apart. Video calls where they just stare at each when tired or banter when over energized. Stupid cat-related memes and nicknames (“You’re both cats” Dowoon quips “why are you even bothering with denying the nickname you give each other?” “They’re flirting” Sungjin elbows the younger man “let them be gross.”), entwined pinkies while napping, long walks at the beach even when they have to keep a certain distance and just the two of them, basking in each other’s presence. Grinning like idiots and sharing dumb expressions.</p><p> </p><p>And Yoongi couldn’t be happier.</p><p> </p><p>He has freedom and a place he belongs. He has his music, a bunch of weird friends and he has Younghyun.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>5Live member, Young One seen out on a date with a rising producer? Find out more below.</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Aw the snow stopped.” The other pouts to the window like he hadn’t been ignored half the time he opens his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Following his eyes, Yoongi stares outside too and murmurs “It did.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a beautiful white blanket now.”</p><p> </p><p>“It is.”</p><p> </p><p>Feeling a heavy gaze piercing his skin, he sighs and lets himself get lost in those familiar brown eyes and in the echo of the very same voice he listens to sometimes “Did you miss snow here?”</p><p> </p><p>Mouth quirking crookedly, Yoongi nods but doesn’t say more.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I missed you.</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Why?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Stop asking!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Yoongi combs his hair as his phone beeps with another notification from the band member’s manager. Then another from Mr. Bang.</p><p> </p><p>It’s been a month since the article was released. It has also been a week of Younghyun asking him the same damned question why he refuses to come out and admit their relationship to the public press con the company was about to hold for the band’s latest comeback promotions.</p><p> </p><p>“Why what?” he snaps back, turning his phone off because he doesn’t know how many more times they have to say ‘no’ to them before they get off his back.</p><p> </p><p>Why can’t they just deny the claim? <em>Why can’t I just live in peace?</em></p><p> </p><p>“Why can’t I tell them, Yoongi?” the bassist asks, tone softer “Why can’t I say I love you?”</p><p> </p><p><em>Fuck. </em>Clenching his fists, Yoongi pulls at his hair. He can already feel the lead dripping on his chest making it hard to breathe and closing his eyes just made it worst. Because the memories flood in in dizzying speeds, robotic voices deafening in his ears and it’s all just a dark blur of everything he never wanted to remember. So with a taut jaw he grits out “Because Younghyun-“</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t.” the taller man glares at him “Tell me. Tell me the truth.”</p><p> </p><p>Not dignifying with any answer of any form, he heard Younghyun grow frustrated at his uncooperative self.</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t? I at least deserve some truth from you and not this bullshit you’ve been shoving at me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been telling you-“</p><p> </p><p>“My career?” Younghyun’s thin eyes flashed “If they’re my fans, they should have love my work before investing on my personal life don’t you think?”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t understand!”</p><p> </p><p>“Why would we be ruined? It’s just me.” Yoongi can feel himself burning up with the words spilling from the man pacing in front of him “And I’m willing to take that risk because I can’t live like this. You don’t deserve to just stay behind the shadow-”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He doesn’t understand. He has nothing to lose.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>They’ve been fighting every day since after the news came. When what met Younghyun’s excited face of being allowed to date him in public, in letting his fans know that he was in a happy and healthy relationship for quite some time now was his heavy disagreement and withdrawal.</p><p> </p><p>And he has been slowly pulling himself away. Not only from Younghyun but from the band itself. Only appearing for official schedules and never outside of it. He ignores their texts and calls, taking advantage of their busy schedules and dealing with the news and hides instead in his studio.</p><p> </p><p>Younghyun, ever considerate let him do his thing and not bothered him much. That is until he got fed up with his cryptic words, cold shoulder and emptier presence.</p><p> </p><p>“Why can’t you do the same and take the risk?”</p><p> </p><p><em>Snap.</em> Yoongi boils over and hissed with all pent up frustration and bottled emotions “My career Younghyun! I don’t think I can say the same with you with how you’re acting” he gestures rudely, because it’s true, seeing how nonchalant the bassist was with the news “but I treasure my career too! I’ve lost it once and I know I’m not going to get another chance after this.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you’re so sure that it will ruin you-“ Younghyun repeats like a broken record, it scratches his ears in all the wrong ways.</p><p> </p><p>“Because-!”</p><p> </p><p>Then it was all just hurtful words after hurtful words.</p><p> </p><p>Yoongi was never one to let his emotions control him, but he was proven yet again that Younghyun was someone strong enough to instill such and provoke him into explosion.</p><p> </p><p>It’s just that, this time, it was into something Yoongi should have been able to control. Even if to not witness the other man’s face crumpling down to bone crushing pain.</p><p> </p><p>But he was stubborn. Despite the tears streaming down his face as another bullet flies out of his mouth, he remained stubborn.</p><p> </p><p>They both were.</p><p> </p><p>Younghyun was brave and a risk taker most of the time, but he loved him more. He loved him so much he took the hit and simply stood in front of him. And Yoongi knows that was the reason too why he respected his wishes and lets him go.</p><p> </p><p>Although it doesn’t, will never, change the fact that Yoongi was the one who broke Younghyun’s heart, even when he broke his own too.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“How have you been Yoongi?” Younghyun puts on a gentle smile. Reassuring and comfortable, familiar.</p><p> </p><p>And it breaks his heart.</p><p> </p><p>“Mm.” Tilting his head away from that smile, he shrugs “So, so.”</p><p> </p><p>The other laughs wholeheartedly, causing him to turn back and watch how his shoulder bounce. Unwittingly he chuckles too as Younghyun narrows his eyes in jest at him “You can do better than that.”</p><p> </p><p>Raising an eyebrow, he returns “What am I supposed to say?”</p><p> </p><p>He shakes his head at him, mirth playing wonderfully on his expression –his heart pinches at the sight “Whatever is on your mind right now.”</p><p> </p><p><em>How cruel. </em>Yoongi looks back out and watches the passerby’s with uninterested eyes. It’s better than to fill with his vision of someone as beautiful as Younghyun smiling the same to him. But the soft ‘Yoongi?’ still had power over him so meets his gaze. Hoping he wasn’t as transparent as he feels right now, he teases “You wouldn’t want to know.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I love you. I miss you. I’m so sorry for being weak. I’m sorry for running away.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Ew.” Younghyun makes a disgusted face then he laughs, the one that scrunches his whole face. Then it simmers down to his tender look. <em>God, don’t look at me like that.</em></p><p> </p><p>It makes him want to cry. It makes him cry, even now.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not going to ask-” he begins and Yoongi already understood. <em>Why I left? Why I didn’t come back? Why I cut myself off from your life?</em> <em>Why? Why? Why? </em>“But I’m glad that you look well.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s been five long years but Younghyun still speaks the same way. Genuine and sweet. Attention all on him and Yoongi almost thought they were back to five years ago.</p><p> </p><p>But they’re not. They can’t.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry for hurting you the way I did.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Back to you.” He says instead, trying his best to smile the way he used to as well “How’s life treating you?”</p><p> </p><p>He must’ve noticed his internal struggles as his face takes on a sad tone <em>Don’t be sad. Don’t frown. Smile again please</em> and maybe he noticed his silent protests too, because Younghyun huffs and grins a little “Hmm-“</p><p> </p><p>Bracing himself for the next words he’ll hear, Yoongi takes a deep breath, only for it to be taken away by a loud plop against Younghyun’s leg and a louder “Dad!”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey kiddo, be careful.” He watched as the other rubs the boy’s –his son’s- sweaty hair and unwraps the scarf to retie it properly. After a small apologetic smile to him, Younghyun focuses on his son “How’s your day at the ski park?”</p><p> </p><p>“Amazing dad! You should’ve-“ the boy blabbers on, even as his father lifts him up so he was sitting on his lap. Yoongi listens in unintentionally, subtly stealing glances –“they look like carbon copies” he notes with a small laugh- then the boy turns his way. “Oh, hello mister.”</p><p> </p><p>Yoongi holds the small Younghyun’s stare –<em>the similarity’s uncanny, wow- </em> then the boy curls and lifts a hand to hide his mouth as he whispered to his father while still side-eyeing him “Who is he?”</p><p> </p><p>The taller man lifts his eyes to him, fond and amused. With a small laugh, he says “Jisungie, this is Uncle Yoongi.”</p><p> </p><p>The boy squints at him “You look familiar.” Turning back to his father he whispers again “He looks familiar dad.”</p><p> </p><p>Yoongi’s heart jumped as the other chuckles, squeezing his son’s cheeks while boy whines and pulls away with a giggle. Then Younghyun nods at him.</p><p> </p><p>Resigned but oddly endeared, Yoongi sighs before offering a hand to the boy “Suga.”</p><p> </p><p>Jisung gasps loud then shrieks. Sparkling round orbs meets his then his father then back to his. With a toothy wide grin the boy announces “I’m a big fan, sir!”</p><p> </p><p><em>I know. </em>Smiling softly, he takes Jisung’s small hand in his in a gentle handshake that had the boy starstruck.</p><p> </p><p>Younghyun mouths a ‘thank you’ over his son’s head, probably knowing how loud his son was and how much the public’s eyes boring his back in that moment would have bothered him.</p><p> </p><p>But it didn’t. Because he can only see their eyes on him.</p><p> </p><p>And although it means only that, Yoongi could take whatever he can.</p><p> </p><p>For there are no more.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Wed. 07/2014] Kang Younghyun:</strong> Yoongi, why?</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Wed. 07/2014] Kang Younghyun:</strong> That’s it?</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Sun. 08/2014] Kang Younghyun: </strong>Just like that?</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Sat. 08/2014] Kang Younghyun: </strong>Will you reply at least? You don’t have to answer my calls anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Mon. 09/2014] Kang Younghyun: </strong>Yoongi? Please?</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Thu. 11/2014] Kang Younghyun: </strong>I hope you’re doing okay.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Fri. 12/2014] Kang Younghyun:</strong> I miss you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Tue. 03/2015] Kang Younghyun:</strong> It’s your birthday today. And our 100<sup>th</sup> concert too!</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Wed. 05/2015] Kang Younghyun:</strong> Is the sky the same there?</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Wed. 08/2015] Kang Younghyun:</strong> Did you watch the meteor shower?</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Thu. 11/2015] Kang Younghyun:</strong> Congratulations on the award.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Sat. 11/2015] Kang Younghyun: </strong>Congrats!!</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Fri. 01/2016] Kang Younghyun:</strong> I saw you. You look healthy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Sun. 03/2016] Kang Younghyun:</strong> Congrats on the collab! It was amazing!</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Tue. 11/2016] Kang Younghyun:</strong> *clap* *clap* Another award for you!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Younghyun’s eyes smiles the same way just like he remembers. His mouth curves in familiar cheeky grins too. His shoulders are still confident and strong.</p><p>Unable to look away, Yoongi simply observes the little banter the father and son were now having, occasionally including him but he was yet again struck with the realization <em>he isn’t the same</em>. It isn’t <em>him</em> he was looking at, not at all.</p><p>In the five years away, while he was blooming to be his best self (and occasionally letting regret eat him) Younghyun, with less backward steps than him, bloomed too. Because even in winter, even with the aches and pain he might have caused Younghyun to bear, he blossomed and let his petals flutter open.</p><p>That’s how Yoongi know, the <em>Younghyun</em> in front of him isn’t <em>him</em>, the one in his memories, anymore.</p><p>The ring on his finger was enough indication that<em> he</em> wasn’t <em>him</em>.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em><strong>[Wed. 12/2016] Kang Younghyun:</strong> I’m getting married. Will you come?</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Wed. 12/2016] Kang Younghyun:</strong> Please come.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Sun. 09/2017] Kang Younghyun:</strong> My son’s been born. We named him Jisung.</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Thu. 10/2018] Kang Younghyun:</strong> I’m gonna make him your biggest fan!</em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>[Tue. 03/2019] Kang Younghyun:</strong> No diss tracks pls, Sungie’s not old enough! Jk. Happy birthday!</em>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>[Today.] Kang Younghyun:</strong> It snowed early this year again. Were you able to watch it?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading!!!</p><p>Songs used are COVER and POURING both by DAY6 ♥</p></blockquote></div></div>
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